LADIES, Shall I Sag My Pants For You?

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Let’s be honest, many black men have screwed up -massively, terribly and immeasurably. Many, but not all. This aggressive nature and combativeness is a result of black men relinquishing their rightful place, forcing our black Queens to step up to the role of defender, bread-winner and initiator.


While all this is true, let’s look at it from another perspective: it seems that the tatted, illiterate, angry, strapped thug get the attention of many good women because of primal lust and the sense of danger that is depicted through him.

We could blame this in the media, but the media also tells you to invest your money. Yet that message is widely ignored. It’s not the media that is having babies by men who have more pairs of Jordan’s and Timbs than grades in school. I’m just saying.

Let me make this perfectly clear. When you screw him, you screw me. Your relationship doesn’t work, then you end up on the dating scene. “Nice Guy” tries to date “Girl-with-Child” and is now forced to love you plus one and deal with the drama that comes with another man seeing what he lost out on. His deficiency make him feel as if he’s being replaced and he takes this out on me and my property. I’ve had my windows smashed, my tires flattened and my car was even shot. All because I dealt with a woman who dealt with a thug. Ladies, stop screwing the bad guys and bringing the good guys the broken pieces.

Additionally, many women who get their hands on a successful black man are forced to make a choice. Ray Rice’s former girlfriend, now wife had to make a choice: take the elevator beating and stick with him or bail out now and lose out on millions. Although not as bellicose, Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant and Magic Johnson also put their wives through this arduous decision making process. While there is nothing like a black man to a black woman, the fact is, when you deal with him, you deal with his demons. Money doesn’t change his nature, just his lifestyle.

We are not perfect. Neither are you, my Nubian Queen. However, I do respect your struggle. For many years, you had to do things on your own. Support and encourage yourself. You have achieved greatness in the face of a nation that classified you as less than the 3/5 of a man that I was supposed to be. Despite all obstacles, you have achieved immeasurable success.

While I am here, let me not disparage the guy on the street. There are plenty of dangerous-looking guys who take care of their families, go to work and are law-abiding citizens. “Thugs” can be anywhere. Just because he goes to church, that doesn’t mean he is not a womanizer. Plenty of men who do the “right thing” have mistreated you, my sister. Why? Because they know they are a rare commodity and that women will succumb to them and tolerate their shenanigans because pickings are slim. This makes my job harder. Any slight imperfection in my character or quirky blemish sends women in another direction. After you have frittered away your time with muscular light-skinned (or dark-skinned), wine-and-dine prince charming. My one room apartments and Post Office job is a joke to you. Furthermore, you tend to become bitter because you gave him your body and he took it – along with several others. Now you have deep security issues and ward off men in defense of that never happening again.

(Bad English approaching) It ain’t my fault that you ran into him before me. It also ain’t my fault that he took your virtue and misused it. Now I must wait and toil for what you willingly gave to another guy: You body, your love and your respect.


All I am saying is that the thug gets your respect in the form of fear. The celebrity gets your respect in the form of lust. The preacher gets your respect in the form of allegiance. The good guy gets…….ATTITUDE!!

When I open the door, can you say “thank you”. When I say “good morning” can you take some of the resentment out of your voice? When I pay you a compliment, that doesn’t mean I want to sleep with you. When I make a comment about your decisions at work, I am not out to get you. You want me to be the good guy? You need to become the good girl. Be nice, act like a lady and respect me as a man. You say there aren’t too many good guys left? You’re right. You sidelined them for sagging pants or chased them all off with sharp words. That’s how I feel. You are welcome to your rebuttals, but keep in mind a vehement criticism is the type of reaction that prompted this piece in the first place.

Good day, Ladies…



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